Have Us Speak

We are available for small informal gatherings (an evening with the Generous Husband and Generous Wife), one-day seminars, and several day conferences. Additionally, Paul does sermons. We are about results, not numbers, and we are happy in a home or a church building.

What We Talk About:

We want to see couples have better marriages, and this is at the heart of everything we teach.

  • We believe a lack of time is a major cause of marriage problems, so margin, time use, and priorities are a part of our message.
  • We aren’t at all shy about talking about sex, and our sessions on sex are very popular.
  • Our AMA (ask me anything) sessions are by far the most enjoyed thing we do. We divide the group by gender and start with Paul the men while Lori talks with the women. Then we switch groups. These work well at the end of a full day or on the second day of a multi-day meeting but is also good as a stand alone event. In larger groups a local leader couple can join us as we change. This is particularly good for someone already doing marriage ministry or looking to start.
  • We also talk about money, how to communicate, and the importance of extending grace in marriage.
  • We are all about helping a couple, a group, or a church start doing marriage ministry. If we can help you set goals, train leaders, or kick off a new marriage ministry, let us know.
  • All of this said we want to provide what you need. We are open and flexible. 

What to Charge:

For full day or longer meetings, we encourage you to collect some fee, as people get more out of something when they pay for it. Use this to cover your costs, including food.

Our Cost:

We don’t want money to be a hurdle, so we ask you to cover our costs and take up a love offering. If we’re going to be in your area (see our map) we ask only that you provide us a place to stay. If we will need to travel to get to you, we ask that you cover our costs at the rate of 50¢ per mile for the detour from our planned travel. 

A Place to Stay:

We enjoy staying with people, but we do need a queen size bed. A hotel is fine, just not as much fun as getting to know folks.

Our Experience:

We’ve been ministering to marriages for 20 years. When we were raising children much our work was done on-line, with local hands-on time with couples and occasional speaking engagements.

We started on-line in 1997 with The Marriage Bed website, followed by the Marriage Bed message boards in 1999. The Generous Wife and Husband blogs began in 2001, and The XY code started in 2013. We currently do 17 blog posts a week across the three blogs.

Our favourite speaking engagement was a weeklong cruise from San Diego California to Cabo San Lucas Mexico and back. Aside from the obvious fringe benefits, we had the time to get to know the couples involved, and have remained friends with many of them in the years since the cruise.

We are both ordained by the American Evangelistic Association. Lori has done coaching training with the American Association of Christian Counselors. We have attended training sessions with a variety of ministries and are founding members of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.

We blend multiple tools and experience with thousands of couples in an ongoing effort to see marriages heal and become what God intended them to be. Please let us know how we can serve you and the marriages in your group.